Soap is not a condiment
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
