I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
