dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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