Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
her vagine was all disorganized.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
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