her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
