Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She's the barista slut.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize