goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
