i already hear my dad disowning me
You smell like stripper and shame
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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