So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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