my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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