The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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