Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
