You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
