your thong is hanging out like whoa
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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