you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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