ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
