Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there's paper in my vomit.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
