There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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