She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
