look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
