Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Houston, we have a squirter
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
