fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
As shirtless as possible
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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