4 words: hood of his car
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
