so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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