I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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