Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
don't judge my taste in strippers
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
