I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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