Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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