Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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