Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
