when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
