Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
