rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
