I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you didnt know i had herpes?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it's like heaven, but drunker
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
