i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
