That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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