her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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