do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
