Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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