when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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