I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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