It's Friday. Sex?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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