yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
