I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
