There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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