dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize