if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He better not be in your backpack
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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