Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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