Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
