their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
