I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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