Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
