Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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