I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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