You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
