well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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