ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize